Hi singles! I'm back! I took a short break to take care of somethings & to prepare my new & upcoming blogs topics for the new year.
As singles, whether we're single and dating, single never married, single and divorced, single and widowed, single and single parenting we often struggle with the feeling of being "alone" during the holidays, especially Christmas. Most times, we have family around, some of us, mother, father, brother, sister, kids, nieces, nephews, cousins, grandparents, and friends and still feel lonely because someone in the family is going to bring their significant other and then you start wondering, why am I alone again, on another Christmas, and then you start thinking about your age and still finding yourself un-boo'd up. While they're boo'd up, underneath the mistletoe, you're in your own space like, "mistle-tuh"... LOL! Your exes have moved on and boo'd up or married someone and you're left to think, how in the world did they end up with someone and you're still solo dolo? So now, you begin to doubt ever finding love, wondering why it's taking as long as it has, when really, you're just experiencing it in that moment when all before you were hopeful, enjoying your singleness, keeping the faith, allowing God to prepare you to be someone's mate/for marriage, waiting patiently and prayerfully. Well, now that cousin, sister, brother, aunt, uncle etc. has their wife, husband or boo around, you start to feel some type of way or even wonder, why you're still living single? Well, I'm here to encourage you and to let you know that just because they are coupled up doesn't mean you have to hold your head down in shame, doubt, despair, or throw your own pity party because you don't have someone to call your own yet. Your time will come, your season will come, but you must trust God and be patient in the process. If you've truly given your singleness over to God, then allow Him to order your steps, date, friend others but don't settle when the holidays come around just because you think it's a good look. Don't try to compare yourself to others' & their relationships because what they got and how they got there isn't the plan God has for you sis, bro. We are all born on a different day, year, time, minute & second. Therefore, God's plan for each of our lives are completely different, so when we see that family member or friend coupled/boo'd up/engaged during the Christmas season, it's really not time to compare yourself and your life to theirs, because God has a unique plan for each of us. So let that sit for a minute.
The Christmas season is to enjoy time with family, but many singles dread this time of year because they want someone to call their own, they want someone to be in pictures with for Christmas day have or a photo shoot with. They also want someone to buy gifts for and someone to receive gifts from. There is nothing wrong with that but we can tend to miss the point in this, and that is that Jesus is the real reason not just for this season but every season & everyday. We sometimes allow man-made holidays as listed on a calendar and all of the extra that comes along with those holidays to get us all in our feelings, when we sometimes miss the importance of life itself.
What some of us really dread is seeing the social media posts full of engagements/engagement rings. Oh my goodness, it comes in heavy sometimes too but even in that, we must not get our feelings and emotions in a knot and think when will I get engaged, when will I experience this, when will it be my turn, when when when...? It's not time to feel down and drag yourself into a pit of loneliness and self-pity, it's time to realize that you prayed for and remember where God has you in this season of your life and embrace it. When it is your season, so it will be in God's perfect timing. Go ahead and congratulate them if you want to, and after that, keep on scrolling or exit if it becomes too much to take in. LOL! I'm serious, because you shouldn't allow one day/one time of the year in particular to cause you to be bitter because of someone's picture of better (so you think, better than you & that's absoutely NOT it.) Please don't live comfortably with stinking thinking. Don't stay there staring at the post/pic having a pity party... because it's just not your time yet, but if you stay in God's will & commit to your "season" of singleness you'll be be able to get through Christmas and any holiday with knowing that what God has promised you, He will surely grant. My Bishop always says "God is not getting you ready for it, He's getting it ready for you". That "it" can be opportunity, something you've been praying for, someone you've been praying for, specifically, your future husband or wife, yes that marriage you've been praying for. So, as I always say, "embrace your singleness"! We must come to realize that our season of singleness is a really designed to be a blessing because God wants all of you, He wants to be first, and He wants the opportunity to help lead and guide you to finding or being blessed with the right mate and meet the desires of your heart. Let Him in, let Him do it & you just do as Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart". This is the key scripture for Singles Pray & Wait.
I undertand also that this is a tough time for widows/widowers. So, this I approach with gentleness and warmth because I could only imagine this being a tough season to experience when your spouse has gone on before you and you began to think of all the wonderful memories you had and reminisce on all of the years and many Christmases spent together, family traditions, etc. But, I'm here to encourage you just as God promises in Hebrews 13:5 “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee”. I can't say that I understand because I haven't been in your shoes, but I can say that God is faithful, He's a healer & restorer. He is your comfort, peace, and although we sing "Joy to the world" God will be Joy in you heart, soul, mind, and spirit. Surround yourself with family and friends who can help you get through this tough season. Surround yourself with positiveness & embrace encouragement. My prayer is that you will experience the peace of God and His divine Healing. Know that you are NOT alone. God is always with you. "Look to the hills from whence cometh your help, your help comes from the Lord." You may feel lonely and heartbroken but I pray that God will grace you with His presence (which is like none other) may He be your company keeper and may he heal your broken heart. Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” May you find joy peace and strength in knowing that God loves you and that what you are facing right now, won't last always because God has a remedy & purpose for everything you're going through and every season of difficulty you face. He is waiting to carry you through. There is even healing in your tears. When your tears become too much to carry and overcome with sadness, God will collect your tears, wipe them from your eyes and replace them with tears of joy as you began to experience His healing power and undying love for you as you treasure and hold on to the precious memories of your spouse. I pray God will cause something or someone to put a smile upon your face during this season and every season & may your struggles turn into successess. God loves you & yup, so do I.
To those who are divorced or may be in the middle of the process of divorce, I want to encourage you to trust God in what I could only imagine to be a difficult season. From what I've learned from some I know personally is that a divorce can sometimes seem like a death because of who and what you once were commited to in your marriage and what you grew to love is now gone, shattered and hard to put back together again. I can neither attest to this but I can only encouage you to not allow this Christmas season to cause you to give up and give in. Surely divorce isn't something we look forward to going into a marriage but for some, it eventually happens and when it happens for several reasons & it can leave behind some wounds that need healing. We know who our healer is and that is Jesus. Divorce can also cause bitterness to attach itself to you, but don't allow divorce during this Christmas season to cause you to miss out on experiencing real joy found in Jesus Christ. I pray that you find peace, joy, and happiness in knowing that God loves you and what you once had/lost, if you trust Him, He can and will restore in His perfect timing, but continue to heal, trust God in and throughout the process and keep Him first.
To my single parents, and some that might even be struggling this Christmas season to put gifts under the tree for your kids, I pray that you first remember the reason for the season, and that is Jesus's birth. Don't put the pressure on yourself if your are struggling to buy that toy, game, clothes, shoes, bike etc, do what only you can, & trust God to provide the rest. At one time, I was able to donate toys to familes, but since the pandemic and things changing in my life, I haven't been able to host my annual toy giveaway through my organization, but God willing I will make sure I help in whatever way I can to put a simile on some child's face because you see, a little can go a long... way. So, don't stress over what you can't do on your own, instead; pray, leave it in God's hands to do what you can't, and trust Him to do the miraculous. I pray this Christmas season will be a blessing for you and your children. It may even be difficult for some raising a child/children on your own but I pray that God will send you the help meet & mate that you'll need. I've seen it happen to single parents and I've seen God do the miraculous, so believe that He can do it for you but keep in mind who your provider and source is, that is Jesus and Jesus alone. You're doing a great job raising your children & trying your very best to provide for them on your own but really and truly, if you just acknowledge the fact that Jesus is your source and not other things/people as your resources, you'll come to realize that you're really not alone and you don't have to be even in this season. Realize that ALL of your help comes from the Lord. Psalm 121:1 "My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth."
Finally, to my fellow singles who have never been married, & might even be experiencing a break-up right now, I feel you, but I'm here to tell you that when you understand the importance of Christmas, and any holiday for that fact, then you can began to prioritize what's important & what really matters. We get too caught up into the "day" & forget that in a few hours, the day will end & the next day can be just as significant as that holiday on your calendar. We have to learn how to shift our mindset from pity to praise, & that's when we can prayerfully grow to realize that being single during Christmas "ain't so bad" afterall, because it's just a day with extra this and extra that. We often wait until a certain song comes on, or to receive a certain gift, or attend that ugly Christmas sweater party to all of a sudden say "I'm in the Christmas spirit" when all year long we should have the spirit of Christ in us anyway, even when life seems too much to bare, we must never forget Christ.
Now, on another note singles, I know that a break-up hurts and can cause you to feel as if you're on an emotional rollercoaster, of sadness, heartbreak, anger, relief, defeat, etc. But I'm here to help you pick yourself up. Let go of those emotions, take time out to really heal, pray and ask God to lead you through it, and purposely choose joy no matter how you feel, even if joy is as simple as eating the last 12 Christmas cookies, well if that bring you joy then, eat your cookies and don't worry about leaving any for Santa, he'll be alright. LOL! (I hope you still don't believe in Santa Claus) Ho,Ho,Ho? No, No, No... LOL! I hope I made you laugh. Well, we often hear the song every Christmas season "What Do The Lonely Do At Christmas?" To be honest, when I hear it, I either turn it off or tune it out, because "sis ain't lonely" (no more, because it was only a feeling & feelings don't last) LOL! I just have to be transparent, I remember one year, I was listening to that song, I think I may have just experienced a breakup months before and y'all, I was all up in my feelings crying, angry, waddling in self-pity and even depression until I had a reality check that wait, I am NOT lonely, I have family first of all, I have the peace and promises of God, and I have my strong will and faith in Him. So, I had to dry those tears, erase and completely eliminate those emotions and stop entertaining the lies from satan. I said wait a minute, I know who I am and whose I am, so I refuse to stay here in this dry place. That relationship didnt work out for a reason and whatever that reason is, It is now well with my soul. God has been too good to me to be crying over someone not meant for me or even crying about being single on Christmas or any season. That's when I said, no more lonely Christmas blues & no more sad sad Christmas seasons... I'm looking forward to first of all celebrating the greatest gift and that's Jesus Christ because without Him being born and then dying for our sins and the sins of this wicked, wretched world, you nor I would have a chance nor right to the tree of life. So, don't get weary, down and depressed when you start seeing those engagement rings on your timeline, don't get discouraged when (well, not now because of COVID) your family and friends bring along with them their boo, fiance', husband, wife, or whatever they call them these days.. LOL! Remain prayerful, & have faith that God will bless you with the desires of your heart in His perfect timing. Choose God, & trust His timing. Your song suddenly can change from "What Do The Lonely Do" to "Merry Christmas Baby" & "All I Want For Christmas, Is You". LOL!
Singles, pull yourself together, know your worth, "Embrace your singleness" and embrace all the more a relationship with God in your season of singleness, because I am here to tell you, that although it can be a struggle sometimes, it can also be one of the VERY BEST seasons of your life if you just let God in and allow Him to love on you like no one else can. God can and will show you somethings about you that you didn't know ever existed. Love your singleness!
🙏🏽 Now, I will like to pray with and for you:
Father God, I pray for all singles during this Christmas season. Whether single & never married, single parents, single and divorced, or single widows/widowers, may you give them the peace that surpasses all understanding and unspeakable joy. Although this is a tough time for many and the season of depression may surface, God I pray that you will release you healing, strength, power, joy, and peace over the lives of your children. Even those who are missing this time with family and friends, Lord grant them comfort & assure them that you will be with them always. God help those dealing with the passing of their spouse to heal, and bind up their wounds. Mend their broken hearts. God, continue to be their provider. Help them to hold on to the memories and may those precious memories aid them in their healing process. Thank you for being a burden barer and heavy load sharer as you promised to be close to the broken hearted.
Lord, strengthen those who have experienced divorce & even separation. Give them what they are lacking in this season, if that's compassion, joy, peace, provision, etc., God meet them right where they are, heal them like only you can and make them whole. Help to know that they can surely experience love again.
Lord, be the peace and company keeper to those singles never married and longing/praying for their mate. Help them to hold out, don't give up, don't give in, & never settle. I pray they will keep you first. I know that you are a keeper! So as you've been keeping me, please, keep them also. May this Christmas season bring you comfort, healing, encouragement, joy, peace and most of all, the love of God in every way.
Merry Christmas, & Happy Holidays! 💚🎄❤
Much love,
Demetria
Comments