My Clock Is Ticking

Welcome back! I hope that you enjoyed our blog from two weeks ago “God’s Desires that Led Me to My Spouse" by our first contributor Brandy Burton. We thank her again for pouring out all that God gave her to share with us. I was encouraged and inspired! I hope you were also. Just in case you didn’t get a chance to read her blog, it is still available. Remember that once a blog has been published, it’s never erased.

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Now, let’s get into our topic… Have you ever uttered the phrase or even thought to yourself “my clock is ticking”? Well, I sure have. Oftentimes as singles we start to stalk our age timeline and wonder why haven’t I met the right one yet, why I haven’t I married yet, why am I not a mother/father yet, when will I meet the one, when will I get married, when will I have children, when will someone come and sweep me off my feet, WHEN-WHEN-WHEN….??? These are the questions we all tend to ask at some point in our singleness. Lord, why have I been waiting so long, I mean, I’m not getting any younger. Then here it comes... “ My clock is ticking…” Now, who told you that your clock is ticking? We tend to live as if we were born with life clocks that tell us what we should accomplish by a certain time, putting pressure on ourselves. It’s like we put a time stamp on what we should be doing, what we should have, what we should have done by a certain time/date and so forth. Singles, we have to pump our brakes. I know you’re probably saying that you’ve been pumping your brakes enough already until they’ve just about rusted… LOL! Listen, you get what i’m saying, take a breather and really think about this thing. Why are you rushing yourself to a certain date and time? Why are you giving the goals, dreams, aspirations and desires in your life a deadline? You are NOT the orchestrator of your life, God is. Sure we have the blessed and wonderful free will to make our own decisions but trying to speed up our clock is when we put the pressure on ourselves instead of trusting God.

I can remember a few years ago I decided to take on a new approach in my dating life, I told myself that if I am not married with kids by age 35 then I was calling it quits. I signed a mental contract with myself on that decision I had made. Fast forward to now, I am 35 years of age and all I can tell you is that I have happily broken that silly contract. Here’s the disclaimer: I am not doing any more stinking thinking. I am almost 36, and I have a new mindset and new desires. I am no longer tied into that contract. I made that decision when I was just starting out as being single and not attached to anyone or anything. Now, I have a new mindset to wait patiently to meet who God has for me in His perfect timing (not mine). It doesn’t matter how long because as my Pastor said today, anything worth having is worth waiting for. So, as the saying goes, how bad do you want it? Bad enough to wait for however long? You see, I was almost to the point of giving up, but once year 35 was approaching, I began to realize that God is really preparing me and preparing my future husband to meet and spend our together forever. So, I have thrown away my clock because I am on God’s time and His timing is perfect. You don’t have to take on the same approach once did, walking around with a clock wondering who, what, when, where, and how. Trust God sis, trust God bro, and trust the process because your singleness is definitely a process and as always, I encourage you to embrace it.

While our clocks tick, we also compare ourselves to others. Yes, you know it happens from time to time. Have you ever asked yourself or God questions like, how did they find love before me, how did they get married before I did, I thought I would get married before them, i’m older than them so why and I still not married with kids yet? We ask these types of questions and more… Be careful when these types of thoughts arise because it can cause that old green-eyed devil of jealousy to appear and jealousy is not cool at all. We must be content where we are and in the state we are in. God knows when you are ready. You might think you are ready for marriage, kids etc, but God knows you better than you know yourself. If you truly want who and what God has for you, wait patiently on it before you make a premature mistake and marry wrong out of comparison, desperation and impatience. I’ve learned to truly be happy and excited for others when they’ve been blessed with their hearts desires and I encourage you the same. So be careful not to get caught up into focusing on what someone else has. Stay away from the spirit of envy.

Let’s get back on topic. If you are one that carries around that age clock, throw it away. I can’t stand to hear that anymore LOL! It grinds my gears to hear that phrase now. I mean, I get that you are getting older and you just want to be able to marry soon at some point and have those babies but all I can tell you is that God is in control of your life.

Sometimes God is testing our level of maturity all the while preparing us and teaching us how to be someone’s wife/husband. Have you ever thought of it that way? Yeah, some of us might not be at the maturity level we should be at to even be someone’s wife/husband. God could be working on your relationship and marriage maturation process, even though that will come with experience also. But your mindset going into a relationship and marriage is so important and if you like me have been diligently seeking God and including Him purposely in your singleness then trust me, He’s got you and when the timing is right you’ll understand why that clock was not necessary.

I’ll share with you another story because I believe in being transparent. I remember one day, I was having a conversation at work with an older co-worker who is probably about 20 years older than me. We were talking about marriage and kids. She is married with 3 adult children. I was expressing to her that I want a baby and she said “well I don’t know what you are waiting for, you know there are other ways to get a baby right” I told her “Yes, I do know there are other ways to get a baby but, I am not desperate, I want to get my babies the same way you got yours” after my response, she couldn’t do anything but look at me and laugh because she knew exactly what I meant. I said “you have a husband that you have children with and I want to have babies the same way, with my husband”. That was the end of that conversation. I guess she thought I was really desperate but what she didn’t realize is that me telling her that, I was not just saying I want only a baby, no ma’am I want a husband also who will help me create that baby. I think she gets it now, what do you think “ LOL! Some people really have good intentions when they express their concerns about your status as single but no matter your age or experiences, I encourage you to stand strong and confidently in your singleness and stop watching that clock. Get rid of it, throw it away because all that it is doing is making you more anxious, depressed and impatient. Be careful of individuals (that’s family, friends, co-workers, and random folks) who keep asking you, when are you gonna start dating, when are you gonna get married, when are you gonna have some babies? Those types of people can cause you to question yourself and your single status, process and will have you looking back and counting down the years and before you know it, you’re asking yourself again, who, what, where, why, and when, then you pull out that clicking time clock. These can be triggers to pull you back into the waiting room watching the clock. However, these types of questions from others won’t bother you when you are confident and sure about your waiting process and very sure about what God is doing in and through your life. When you know that God is preparing you for what you’ve been praying for and desiring, then folks whether good intentions or not will have no affect on you other than to push you to continue to walk with your head held high in expectation of God’s promises to you.

The longer you wait the more your faith in God should be growing and the more certain you should be about His promises to you. Remember this concerning God’s perfect time clock/timing when we pray and consult God about things, especially things we desire, He will answer in one of three ways; YES, NO, OR NOT RIGHT NOW. Whenever God answers’, whatever God’s answer is, and however He answers’, always know that it’s always gonna be in His perfect timing and according to His perfect will. One more thing, if you take nothing else from this blog, take this scripture, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” Ecclesiates 3:1.

Much love, peace, & blessings,

Demetria “MeMe” Henry"

Enjoy this song... & the lyrics... :-)